Are we products of our environment?

I love Facebook for nothing else than it jogs ideas in my head that relate to counseling.....there is so much crap on Facebook that a counselor can have a field day with and would never become bored.... With that said I recently saw a question that asked how much can we blame the environment in which we were raised on our current behaviors?

My belief about people is that all factors come together to create the person today this includes the persons upbringing, past/current relationships, past/current experiences, employment, friendships etc. To understand a person we have to understand the person as a in whole in their environment and I don't believe you can truly understand a person without considering all of the above and how they have interacted and mingled together to form that person's perception of their world. It is not enough to just know that person's experiences instead you have to know how that person views those experiences as that view will be different for two people who grow up in the same house for example. There are far to many environmental influences on personality and development to list in this blog however a few of the most common that affect a large majority are parental influence, social status, and religion.

So can we blame our past for our current behaviors? Our past obviously contributes to our futures but I do believe that people have the ability to make choices within their lives and so the control of their life lies within them, often times however we fail to understand that by allowing our past to control our future we are in essence choosing. So while our past contributes it doesn't define our future and will only do so if we make the choice to allow it to.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the situations of our lives that we fail to understand we have choices. Do you keep having the same fight with your in laws? The same argument with your spouse? Do you feel like you're held back because of the way you grew up? Have you been holding a grudge for the last 15 years and refusing to change only and until you go back to the age of 12 for example and your mother/father apologizes for their wrong doings? In all of these situations you are choosing that behavior. Often we place ourselves in the role of  victims of our environment when the reality is we choose to be victims (I am not talking about violence such as rape etc). We choose because we are contributing in some way most often by allowing.

Now I am not saying that making choices is easy...quite the opposite....choices are hard which is why so many (myself included!) have such a difficult time making the right choices. But once you can begin to understand that you do indeed have a choice you will feel empowered. You can't continue to blame your past for your current behavior unless your willing to give the choice of how you live your life over to someone else, if your okay with someone else controlling your life then by all means continue, if you want to change I recommend you find a great counselor to help you do so and if your put off by counselors there are some great self help options out there and I would be happy to help you find some :)


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